Monday, March 31, 2008

Lonely Stranger

I'm not alone. I know this for a fact. If I wanted to I could go to any of them and tell them what is bugging me, but I won't. I should, but I can't. If I am getting tripped up over something as trivial as this...then well I don't know. I just know that I need to push past the thoughts of a little boy wishing because I know where I stand, but that doesn't stop me from hoping that I can make a difference and that is where this problem stems. Hope. It saves, but it makes us all so naive. It is one of the best things we have and I can't seem to hate it more at this point in time. When we get so wrapped up in our lives that we leave the best things behind...behind us to wait until we are ready we are truly at our most selfish state. Though be the the one left behind doesn't make you innocent because you are also wrapped up with yourself. I suppose there is nobody that isn't waiting, but from the outside there are the waiting and the waited upon. I have been both. I am both. We all have been both. We have been in that spot where everything moves faster than we want them to and we get left behind, or maybe you get so impatient that you move ahead of the pack hoping...rather gambling, on the chances of great things. Diving in head first is the best way to learn, yet it is also the fastest way to fall on your face.



You know when you just listen to music and not necessarily the words? Listen to the words and you'll find that I say more than I should.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Son's Gonna Rise

Looking back, I feel indifferent...everyone seems to have experienced love. For some reason I doubt its existence in my life. I have felt strongly for a few people in my life, but has it really been love? I'm wondering that tonight because love shouldn't be forgotten. Especially your first, but in a few years I'm not gonna remember any of you and it makes me worry about how I "love". Do I...do I love people? I would like to say so, but I've gotten so good at forgetting. If I deem it not worth remembering or just replace it with some useless bit of information was it really love? I am starting to think that it isn't. I could always tell myself to remember those people, but I don't think I should have to tell myself to remember.

Lovely little late night talks always get me thinking...especially when the past is brought up.
Avoiding it is far from effortless, but so very important...to me that is.

It was nice though...I need a reason to remember sometimes.