The Crooked Waltz

Late night writing is the best, isn't it?

I'm in trouble...Deep trouble. I try to dig my way out, but I just can't seem to say the right thing. Am I really that untrustworthy? Do I give off a "I'm always lying to you." vibe?

Why did I call this entry "The Crooked Waltz"? ...I'll tell you why, you know, because I can tell you're so interested. I call it that because it feels like I'm dancing on a ship lately. If I lose my balance then I will surely fall and I have bad enough balance as it is, but now I have to keep on my toes and glide over the twisting boards lurching beneath my feet. *sigh*
Its worth it though.
She is worth it.

Truly finding yourself takes time, but it is time well spent.

I'm off for now, hopefully to find myself in a dream.

Not Myself

Here I sit thinking...Already a bad start. I feel like being depressed lately. I swear I like it too much. I don't know why, but I just feel like I haven't experienced enough of the bad to truly appreciate the good. This coming from the kid with a once broken home, that home no longer exists...I have no home. Why am I just realizing this now? I guess you could say this is my home, but it isn't. Even though I got spoken to about how if I ever need anything I should come back to them for help, but I don't like I should. That brings up a memory from my childhood. Etched in my memory is this one time my mother and father were yelling at each other somewhere in the house and I was just in the kitchen just sitting against the cabinets repeating to myself "I want to go home." I have that feeling now more than ever and it scares me.

Eric opening up? Scary, right?

I wonder why I do the things I do sometimes. Finding your identity is hard sometimes, but all in all its worth it...I hope.