Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm

This week has to be great, not for me, but for Sam I really want to make her last week here a memorable one. I know she loves it here and doesn't want to leave, but a part of me tells me she just can't stand to be in the same place to long. I just hope she has just as much fun in NC. I really can say she is one of my best friends and I just want her to be happy.

On a less sincere note. I am really tired of everyone talking about everybody behind their backs. Just hearing what some people say makes me wonder what people say about me. Whatever can't stop people from judging, drawing conclusions on assumptions and such. Thinking about it...Would we really still be friends if we said what we were thinking to each other? The good friends would stay friends, but it would really weed out those who didn't fit in.& I myself would love to hear what people say, but that would never happen. I guess it is for the "greater good" as Hot fuzz so elloquently put it.

Fuck econ, eager salespeople, drunks, sluts, smokers, dumbasses,

hicks, walmart, parents, slow drivers, that person with the z3 hatchback,

high school, fat people, indecision, 11:11, hairy ladies, organized religion

and life.



I'm tired.
sleep.

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Crazy

I feel like I'm going crazy. It hasn't even been summer more than two days and I can already tell that this summer will be the worst. Without my car and friends to do anything, I'm stuck at home with only chores to do because I am such a lazy jerk.

Summer school is a...no economics is a waste of my life. Summer school is an instrument of icy cold severance from what summer should be. I mean icy cold in the literal sense. If that school got any colder I might start pissing ice cubes. If that wasn't enough I got stuck with the one teacher who thinks getting out ten minutes early is a godsend. We have to skip our ten minute break to get out when every other teacher decides "why not let them go?". It is just ridiculous.

I think I might actually eat something for dinner tonight. I don't recall what there has been, but Yesterday was hamburger patties...no buns, just a chunk of cooked cow. I wish my life could go somewhere that there aren't...people.

.Screaming babies.Slamming doors.
.Somebody Get Me Out of Here.

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Trashed and Scattered

Life, you son of a bitch, you are always trying to kill me.  Doing something tonight would be great, but that whole speeding ticket thing has messed with my chances of having fun, and just as they weren't really caring about the punishment as much they receive my wonderful midterm...F in jap, B- in physics.  w00t....kill.me. 

    I need to clear my head.  I need people to stop being assholes about certain choices I've made.  Thatnks to the select of people i actual search for approval in disapproving a choice made I now no longer want what I once did.  *thumbs up* Thanks guys!  Now I have to take care of that and it'll be oh so much fun.  *eyeroll*

    I'm hitting a lot of topics today because I can't talk about them too much without giving them away...being vague is what I'm all about.  Drifting through life is getting me nowhere.  I need focus, a guide, instead of all of these pricks.  I want my sister to believe me when I say that I have that F because of Rosetta Stone, I want moving on to be easier, I want falling to hurt less, and most of all I want you to stop, take a look around and actually mean you are changed.

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Somebody Hates Me

I have been skankin my ass off lately. It is really tempting to start a ska band next year for Graff. It would definitely have to be the quintet if we had one. Some may say its impossible, but I think with the right people it could happen, especially if we played Suburban Rhythm...it would blow the audience's mind.

I guess I'm getting tired of people thinking something is wrong with me. I dont really know and I probably won't tell you even if you ask. Its an Eric thing? Idon'tknow. I thought I really needed to write one of these, but now that I have started it seems like it will suck, pretty much like the others, yet I will ramble on anyway. U.S. Hist. Project/Paper due soon, should start that...eh fuck it...no more I'm not even in the mood for this.

TVM

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Hands Down

The season's shape our personality, our mood. Winter takes a hold of our warmth leaving us searching for someone to spend the night with. Spring gives us back that warmth sending messages of hope and a better life luring those with much to leave it behind for the prospect of more. Gorging on Summer you can only hope that it's splendor last forever, but Fall quickly come dashing your hopes for a sunny tomorrow with a plague killing all within it freezing grip, slowly draining greed of all it's life. It is a beautiful death. A death that I cannot wait for.

Why does everything fall apart at this time?Why did it have to stop at all? I don't know why I am asking these questions. It could be the fact I see her in pain, but all I can do is hold her and wait for her to talk. It is what she needs, but I won't be the person she tells, so it looks like I am without purpose. I think everyone needs to take some time to do some soul searching. I know I could use it. How about you?

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Lackluster

I have been just that lately. I don't know. People are always telling me that I'm "great" but I don't see it. I am usually an ass to everyone, but it isn't because I don't like the person...more along the line of making fun of people is just that. Fun. Sometimes I think people take me too seriously, but I avoid those who do. Why am I explaining this anyone who reads this already knows.movingon.

Tech was great fun including the cast parties that made me feel almost charming for a second. I met someone and I guess was cool enough to get her to not hate me. Scatter-brained as I was that night and obnoxious. I am not going to lie I was a loud bastard at that party, but would it have been better if I would have sat quietly on the couch? Being outgoing is definitely fun most of the time, but the only reason I was able to be the "loud asshole over there" was because I never had really met any of the people there. Thinking about it now I wasn't that outgoing...i just played guitar hero...yes I know it is really sad that I avoided the fun part of the party for that game. I kind of regret not going where ever the hell everyone else went, but there is no changing that now. Seeing the pictures from it looked much more fun. Damn another missed opportunity. What else is new.



*Note to self: Take the road less travelled.





TVM

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Trouble

New ipod in hand Eric is ready to take on the world one song at a time; slowly becoming more detached from this world...and the next.

Looking back through previous blogs(Confuzzled I think its called) and I found that my situation hasn't really changed. The only difference...the actors of this play called my life. I find that quite depressing that in practically 2 years I haven't been able to get past this indecisive flaw I and most other seem to have. Breaking this habit isn't necessary, but it might just make life a little easier, and who doesn't want an easier life?

This blog was interrupted and later forgotten about, yet reading it now makes me feel somewhat alive. I'm am doing something now. Not sure what it is, but I feel like it is something and I hope my feelings are right this time.

I was reading some other people's blog recognizing that things have been declining, like everything is getting worse. I don't know they just seem to be having thoughts similar to mine, but are expressing them better than I could have ever imagined. I guess writing isn't my forte, but then what is? I have no expressive talents. Speaking? No. Musically? Doubt it. Visually? Can't paint. The only thing I have made are some sets for a musical. Those aren't even pretty. It was more of a this is what I need...Build as economically as possible. I don't know sometimes not being able to use the right side of my brain as effectively as others makes me wonder if I'm trying as hard as I should.





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