Hands Down

The season's shape our personality, our mood. Winter takes a hold of our warmth leaving us searching for someone to spend the night with. Spring gives us back that warmth sending messages of hope and a better life luring those with much to leave it behind for the prospect of more. Gorging on Summer you can only hope that it's splendor last forever, but Fall quickly come dashing your hopes for a sunny tomorrow with a plague killing all within it freezing grip, slowly draining greed of all it's life. It is a beautiful death. A death that I cannot wait for.

Why does everything fall apart at this time?Why did it have to stop at all? I don't know why I am asking these questions. It could be the fact I see her in pain, but all I can do is hold her and wait for her to talk. It is what she needs, but I won't be the person she tells, so it looks like I am without purpose. I think everyone needs to take some time to do some soul searching. I know I could use it. How about you?

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Lackluster

I have been just that lately. I don't know. People are always telling me that I'm "great" but I don't see it. I am usually an ass to everyone, but it isn't because I don't like the person...more along the line of making fun of people is just that. Fun. Sometimes I think people take me too seriously, but I avoid those who do. Why am I explaining this anyone who reads this already knows.movingon.

Tech was great fun including the cast parties that made me feel almost charming for a second. I met someone and I guess was cool enough to get her to not hate me. Scatter-brained as I was that night and obnoxious. I am not going to lie I was a loud bastard at that party, but would it have been better if I would have sat quietly on the couch? Being outgoing is definitely fun most of the time, but the only reason I was able to be the "loud asshole over there" was because I never had really met any of the people there. Thinking about it now I wasn't that outgoing...i just played guitar hero...yes I know it is really sad that I avoided the fun part of the party for that game. I kind of regret not going where ever the hell everyone else went, but there is no changing that now. Seeing the pictures from it looked much more fun. Damn another missed opportunity. What else is new.



*Note to self: Take the road less travelled.





TVM

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Trouble

New ipod in hand Eric is ready to take on the world one song at a time; slowly becoming more detached from this world...and the next.

Looking back through previous blogs(Confuzzled I think its called) and I found that my situation hasn't really changed. The only difference...the actors of this play called my life. I find that quite depressing that in practically 2 years I haven't been able to get past this indecisive flaw I and most other seem to have. Breaking this habit isn't necessary, but it might just make life a little easier, and who doesn't want an easier life?

This blog was interrupted and later forgotten about, yet reading it now makes me feel somewhat alive. I'm am doing something now. Not sure what it is, but I feel like it is something and I hope my feelings are right this time.

I was reading some other people's blog recognizing that things have been declining, like everything is getting worse. I don't know they just seem to be having thoughts similar to mine, but are expressing them better than I could have ever imagined. I guess writing isn't my forte, but then what is? I have no expressive talents. Speaking? No. Musically? Doubt it. Visually? Can't paint. The only thing I have made are some sets for a musical. Those aren't even pretty. It was more of a this is what I need...Build as economically as possible. I don't know sometimes not being able to use the right side of my brain as effectively as others makes me wonder if I'm trying as hard as I should.





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xbxlxoxgx

A weekend of missed opportunities for me. First, I get no Chuck E. Cheezzzzuh, but...eh its probably better that I didn't go. If I did it just would have been a few hours chuckles, nothing much. Not going is where its at because then Sam has more fun all night instead of me...I'm lame like that.

I missed getting my ipod back. I missed Chuck E. Cheese and I missed sledding. Sledding isn't my fault if anything I blame it on the environment in Tyler's car(loud-ass people), but Jordan is usually good at hearing stuff. Even if she heard that we were at Weston's would we have gone? I doubt it. The light was fading and they want the icy wind in their faces and the snow in their pants. All I wanted was to be with them...no problem, I guess, since Tuesday is going to be snow filled.



The Velvety Monkey

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Where the Heart Lies

Lately I have been in a very go-with-the-flow mood. I don't know why; maybe I am just switching off for awhile. Its been nice...not worrying, but now I find smaller things beginning to crop up and implanting there hooks of dread into my consciousness. They might just be getting to because I am unburdened with school, yet I still don't like worrying about these things either. They just eat at me until they become a problem: I don't want problems. I want fun. Is that too much too ask?



On a lighter note, Jordan twas stripped to her panties tonite...Wondering if we should have stripped Sam instead, but would it have been as funny? Tyler was right there, but I'm not sure he really cared.shrug. Ugh I just remembered Jordan hasn't shaved in awhile, so might have been a better choice to go with Sam. Hmm any thoughts?



My ipod will be getting fixed soon. YAY! Like any of you care, but I do this week has blown without music in my head. Plans tomorrow=Something what they are have yet to be decided.



The Velvety Monkey

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Where the Heart Lies

Lately I have been in a very go-with-the-flow mood. I don't know why; maybe I am just switching off for awhile. Its been nice...not worrying, but now I find smaller things beginning to crop up and implanting there hooks of dread into my consciousness. They might just be getting to because I am unburdened with school, yet I still don't like worrying about these things either. They just eat at me until they become a problem: I don't want problems. I want fun. Is that too much too ask?



On a lighter note, Jordan twas stripped to her panties tonite...Wondering if we should have stripped Sam instead, but would it have been as funny? Tyler was right there, but I'm not sure he really cared.shrug. Ugh I just remembered Jordan hasn't shaved in awhile, so might have been a better choice to go with Sam. Hmm any thoughts?



My ipod will be getting fixed soon. YAY! Like any of you care, but I do this week has blown without music in my head. Plans tomorrow=Something what they are have yet to be decided.

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The Day the Music Died

Well, my ipod is dead...I know I'm super pissed. Today definitely not a fun one, mainly because I'm sore as hell from this weekend/probable fever,but nonetheless today did not suck too bad.

I'm tired of dancing around subjects now. In the beginning it was fun, but now its just annoying either I will get what I want or I won't. *leans toward won't* This doesn't surprise me though because I never really get what and if I do get it "it" gets spoiled and I no longer want it. This is inevitable in these years of practically infinite change. I don't really want to start preaching, so I think I'll avoid this topic of doom. I'm pretty sure that is all this will bring me if I keep ranting about what I want. That is the very opposite of I want to do, yet if I don't make things happen...it'll end badly either and thats all I'm saying about that.

This week isn't starting off very well, I mean c'mon Why did my ipod have to die? I don't even know how it happened. It prolly happened in dodgeball, but its not like i dove around or anything...bleh. Whatever.Heres to another shitty week, all the worse without my musical world to drift to...

The Velvety Monkey

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