Monday, January 7, 2008

I Really Miss You

"If only I was taller,
And had a million dollars.
Maybe then you'd be with me."

I'm tired of this. I need something to happen. Whether it be good or bad it just to needs to occur.

Why is there nothing to do? ...wait correction there are three things to do: Consume illegal substances, Play video games, or Go to a proprietor of goods/services. Thats it. Why can't we have something good here. Just wondering really because I'm tired of doing nothing. Aren't you?

Hey if you happen to have something to say get it off your chest before you start closing doors.

I'm pretty sure I could write a billion little stupid sentences like that maybe someday that is what I'll do, but for now I'm going to try to focus on something.

I miss a lot of things lately. Lauren, Sam, Middle School, Junior year, being the new kid. It just seems like life was better before last summer. Summer ruins things for me. I remember a long time ago, during the summer, life was amazing. I used to wake up at 6 in the morning to go hang out my friend Roy,during the summers he lived with his grandma. That was so amazing. He was a few years older than me, but we got along so well and all day we would ride our bikes around, chill at the Trading Post and swim...We swam every weekday for like 5 hours everyday. Amazing. Then one summer came and things were different because he started doing drugs and then he got a few other kids we used to hang out into it too. Thats when my summers weren't so fun anymore and thats when I stopped hanging out with them and I moved on, but I guess it was great while it lasted and I should be grateful that I got to have that much fun as a kid.
In the beginning everything is great and then it loses it's luster and you toss it away. I'm just the kind of person who finds those things that get tossed away and when I find them I get brought back. I really like this picture. I really like her, but its gone and now all I have is this picture to give what I once had.


I'm losing my luster.

TVM

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Tonite

Stumbled onto an old playlist...heh. I needed this because I haven't felt like this for awhile. Its a combination of uncertainty and disorientation. Which I'm finding out isnt so great together.

Music gets to me more than it should and I'm tired of it reminding me that life was better back in the beginning. Back when I was happy and everyone around me was happy as well. Everyone's general level of happiness with their situation is on a slow decline as of late, but its a new year full of new wishes, experiences, loves, losses, and all that junk that every says when the previous year ends badly. I wonder how this year will end? Some might say that I shouldn't care how its going to end when it hasn't even really started, but I could care less how we get there as long as we do. Though sometimes its all about the trip...god.so mixed up, can't think straight and it is being greatly reflected in my writing.

Living in a dream world can only hide what pains you for so long.
Sooner or later it catches you,
so stop running.

TVM