So cold lately, outside and in, but its winter. What else is supposed to happen? The shivers are getting old though...
These late nights are becoming a bad habit of mine, but I just don't want to go to sleep. Its my enemy. I don't know why, but there is something about sleeping that just doesn't sound good. I guess I'd rather stay and write these stupid little things. So write them I will. This weekend was empty. A lot of the same old stuff, go to weston's, feel like a third wheel, drive home in freezing car and feel useless. I was always useless. She just gave me a false sense of purpose. Purpose. Its what we all struggle to understand. I could lie to everyone and say things are fine and dandy, but I find myself more often than not thinking of her more know than ever. The dumbest little things reminding me of her. A jewelry catalog. A freakin' ring made me go back to the walk-a-thon and what the kind of ring I was gonna buy someday. So much time spent with her on my mind...
It kills me that she is so happy to be rid of me. I was such a burden. I was so good to her.
No. This isn't all on me. Its on you. You never said anything to me. Ever. How am I supposed to know what I'm doing to bug you if all you do is tell the people who don't matter. Just tell me this is hard for you too and I'll feel so much better.
Freedom! Its mine and I don't know what to do with it. I sound like a broken record, but this is what its like up in the old noggin. *sigh*I'm going to shut up before I say more hurtful things.
Finish the Sentence.
Leave me behind...
TVM
These late nights are becoming a bad habit of mine, but I just don't want to go to sleep. Its my enemy. I don't know why, but there is something about sleeping that just doesn't sound good. I guess I'd rather stay and write these stupid little things. So write them I will. This weekend was empty. A lot of the same old stuff, go to weston's, feel like a third wheel, drive home in freezing car and feel useless. I was always useless. She just gave me a false sense of purpose. Purpose. Its what we all struggle to understand. I could lie to everyone and say things are fine and dandy, but I find myself more often than not thinking of her more know than ever. The dumbest little things reminding me of her. A jewelry catalog. A freakin' ring made me go back to the walk-a-thon and what the kind of ring I was gonna buy someday. So much time spent with her on my mind...
It kills me that she is so happy to be rid of me. I was such a burden. I was so good to her.
No. This isn't all on me. Its on you. You never said anything to me. Ever. How am I supposed to know what I'm doing to bug you if all you do is tell the people who don't matter. Just tell me this is hard for you too and I'll feel so much better.
Freedom! Its mine and I don't know what to do with it. I sound like a broken record, but this is what its like up in the old noggin. *sigh*I'm going to shut up before I say more hurtful things.
Finish the Sentence.
Leave me behind...
TVM
No comments:
Post a Comment